went to LP today.. was b4 dinner at the wanton mee stall.. so bo liao walked all the way with family till the hypoleuca then turn back liao cos mum said god was dimming the lights.. went there last wed to eat prata after badminton with uncle etc.. it was PITCH BLACK! omg carn see a thing.. stood outside where the rocks were.. looked in and was like "omg carn see even rite in front of you.." nv seen anything so dark b4.. even ubin at nite was bright cos of the moon.. anw they din haf chee cheong fun so had to eat wanton mee.. wasnt feeling veh hungry mahz.. ordered the sour plum drink.. not nice one.. think its the same brand as the lime juice.. saw some poster on the wall.. looked like mardi gras or something.. the costume the fellar wore.. had limes n sour plums at the bottom of the poster respectively..

saw this cat whining at the bro to give it food.. at first tot it was a pure white cat which would look so cool.. felt a lil pitiful cos i TOT it was a white cat.. then later it walked away for a while n it wasnt.. disappointing.. after tt i din feel tt awful anymore.. maybe white made me think its more vulnerable? hmm..

oh was facing the other prata shop.. looks damn sad la.. felt even more awful when i saw the lone indian guy behind the counter eating his own muruku.. :( watching tv or sth.. carn rmb.. then this car parked next to our table n two indian guys came out..

A: "this one? *pointed to pitiful one*"
B: *pointed back* "no la.. cannot make it.." or sth along tt line.. then he pointed towards casuarina prata n said "tt one la.."

n i think the lone indian guy saw.. i dunno.. i felt terrible.. really terrible.. maybe cos felt bit off today anw so im feeling for every little thing i see..? his shop is like so 'lok' compared to the other one.. saw the drinks in the fridge and was like "arghh.. " maybe shud buy drinks from him.. at least got something.. i dunno.. haha! really sad.. loooked like its gonna close anytime tt kind lor.. maybe daytime not as bad but it was heart-wrenching if u can say tt..

on the way home i was thinking.. wad if i werent who i am? wad if i were someone else?

let's see..

1. nat ngoi [dunno her name came to me quite quickly]
2. paris hilton
3. ami
4. some hawker's daughter
5. some doctor's daughter
6. some lawyer's daughter
7. some rich kid's daughter
8. rachel wee
9. david [another rich kid, would being a guy be fun?]
10. audrey lee

my fates..

1. living it up smart, pretty, rich, popular, and cambridge med anybody?
   
2. living it up up up pretty, rich, brainless
3. smart, humble, adorable
4. prob serving some food n pia-ing my hearts out to do well in skool
5. aim to go med skool
6. aim to go to law skool
7. paragon's my haunt. scgs's my school. acsi's my dig.
   
8. free hair treatments, slimming treatments even when theres no need to.. erm HUGE house.. popular amongst guys.. are they trying to get free IPL treatments at jean yip? HAHA
9. stoning around skool with diff girls.. looking all tan n stuff.. faces of the year [guy n girl].. luckily no one sabo-ed or it would become faeces of the year.. hanging out at dad's fish pond(?), chilling out at sailing centre..
   
10. presidents scholar.. outgoing.. still rmb u for booking me! hmph! when i din even realise tt i forgot my name tag n skool badge.. grr.. nonetheless she's a great girl..
11. no 11 rite? heck let's juz be me again. how would life be? not much money.. struggling with studies though still somehow can get by.. dreams of being a doctor/sinseh/dentist (?!) though i dun think i can get past the dex test with my shaky hands even during spa.. if cannot i dun mind opening my own business.. erm pilot? can travel! :) *deja vu of typing this in my dream b4.. always happens! even for exam papers.. O levels etc..too bad carn rmb when i wake up!!* not disciplined enough to mug my hearts n guts out to get to where i wanna be.. though i really really really really wanna become a full fledged mugger.. im not gonna bother bout wad others say..
    

ok strategies for me to get my ass down to studying!

1. get my com away n lock it up in some ulu place in the house
2. lock my hp away too
3. lock my door n push food thru some doggie hole or sth
4. leave me alone
   
5. dun talk to me
6. lock the xbox away too
7. tv as well
8. no bed
9. no mirrors or storybooks or glossies
10. timetable
11. more notebooks
    
12. enough drinks n munchies to keep me gg
13. more space
14. alarm clock/stopwatch
15. well-deserved breaks to motivate me

now it seems that wad i need most is isolation. -_-

suggestions anyone?