college day yest! was interesting! :) met up with a few snrs.. yeah kinda miss last yr.. oh well.. life goes on..

tnod ksa em daw i tlef retfa ti soc ti saw etiuq dirroh.

please dont decipher that.

anw went for 409 outing after tt.. took 16 which took forever to get there.. y din i wait for 36?! anw went to find the loft then met up with the rest of them! :) so nice! as usual sheeyin n her stories.. ok mine too.. realised i really tok a lot!! haha.. tt happened at PP tt day too.. whoops.. tts when i realised how much i can tok nonstop for.. we ate then juz talked about skool n stuff.. maryann n jermaine were mad!! aiyohh.. nv seen them this crazy b4.. :P vj muz haf gotten to maryann.. hehe!!

so we later took some pics juz below the loft.. gotta get them from jermz etc.. :) then we toked bout the blardy skirt issue which is sooo dumb.. lets juz wait with bated breath for TNP to write an article bout it.. grr so lame cos there really isnt an issue since u alr couldnt find evidences for it! trust u to come back again to find evidences that "proved your pt".. wad pt? dont waste ur time n move on to other issues alrite?

walked along citylink on the way back to the station.. it felt really nice to be gg back with yii wen and sheeyin again.. haiz used to do tt back in rg.. :( last time i did tt was the previous outing when it was with yii wen.. yeah.. :) btw yushan's looking good!

went swimming today. like OMG! last time i swam was like last yr after skool at my uncle's house before med trg.. bathed n went back to skool after tt.. hahah! after tt got home n had a terrible stomachache n was perspiring profusely.. later on i couldnt eat lunch le cos no strength liao.. :S snacked on lays later on n i ate dinner.. yeah..

its mon again and it juz means one more wk closer to prelims n As.. gosh i dunno how to prepare for this shit! biochem test on thurs.. crap cos we havent finished carbo.. n i need to study proteins, nucleic acids, lipids, enzymes too! not exactly the same as bio summore.. though can apply some knowledge..

no more pe so tml can start mugging during those 3 breaks liao.. ok shall mug proteins and lipids.. jiayou!

i juz hope that i can finish up my revision etc by prelims.. at least read through everything once or hopefully twice n revise again!

body aching again.. arghh but at least it paid off! hahaha.. :)

our skool juz renovated the sci and tech labs and built this flower clock based on this pw project.. apparently NEA might use it for the garden thingie at marina.. MOE gave us money to build it too i think.. aint too sure bout tt.. quite cool.. considering all the japanese roses there.. tgt with this diamond looking tetrahedral strucutre which really looks like the ball and stick structure! not forgetting the IR lamps to cause the flowers to bloom at different times due to photoperiodism.. coolness!

our pw projects up on the boards! y didnt they put our names.. :( so sad! but the comments were like whoa.. haha.. no wonder we got an A.. haha! no but really.. didnt think it was tt good either.. but i guess mr chua did help quite a bit in helping us edit the report.. making it "coherent and easy to read" oohh.. :)

these two yrs haf passed really quickly that i feel like im gonna miss this big family a huge lot.. mr chow.. mr chua.. ms hoo.. mrs mah.. MS CHUA! mrs leow.. even mr tan though he only took us for one term of pe.. ppl like sherli.. zhongyi.. yong guan.. S13.. basically juz seeing familiar faces everywhere.. ppl who are nice n friendly.. people who u can harrass without being daoed [sorry sam!] sitting in the treehouses looking at ppl run.. gossipping in the lts.. trying to pass food in the lt without being caught [using notes to cover the packet] nodding off to dreamland in some lectures.. observing interesting characters during lectures [boy does vj haf a handful!] i dunno.. there's just too much i miss in vj n i dun wanna leave it.. seems like yest when i juz entered it in march.. all the rubbish that the guys haf sprouted that added to the memories..

will this blog be still around in the future for me to look back n reminisce at the events that have occurred when i was juz 17 and 18? will i still keep in contact with these frenz? considering that im practically not in contact with my lower sec classmates liao.. seems quite bleak.. class reunions? maybe they would mean more to us when we grow up cos class outings seem quite mundane rite now.. same lives.. same situation.. wads new?

even though i havent exactly left a really indelible mark in vj [unless u count vandalism on the tables with pen tips but i din write the 05S13 one i swear! must be outta my mind if i did] its made a huge impression on me.. was sitting at the canteen the other day waiting for my mum n looked across the foyer and carpark.. the tree-lined driveway.. the cosy feeling.. the informal assemblies and just walking across the road from the foyer to the canteen when we are hungry after mugging in the lib.. times when we all congregate at the lockers to take our tys.. occassions when minnie jason bullies mickey michelle.. haha! these are the things that would fade but when u meet up again.. it'll come flooding back all at once..

its quite sad that i dont really rmb my pri skool and lower sec life.. nothing worth noting i guess.. i dont want the memory of these 2 yrs to fade into some deep dank corner of my mind.. despite the tears, the frustrations that have come with it.. i must say that jc has been prob the best two yrs of my life.. really unless u compare with time in art club! :) teachers noe u on a first name basis.. they msg u to wish u good luck for ur CTs.. u chat with them on msn.. u can msg them anytime if u have problems with subject etc.. its really like a close knit family.. i guess this is wad being in vj is really like.. it isnt all about the cheers and spirit etc.. its this feeling of familyness that makes us so special.. about half the tchers were past victorians.. and you wonder why we are so bonded? its just in us.. teachers to students.. everyone is related in one way or another.. u really just gotta be here to experience it for yourself..

nil sine labore. now this really applies to prelims. nothing without labour. ouch.

oh man i just realised how close it is to prelims and A levels.. it seems rather far but its not!! gp is like in 4 wks time.. prelims proper in 6 weeks.. there after its about 2 months to A levels.. NOOO!! this is not good.. :S

went for the us fair today.. gosh i dont think i can go unless i get a scholarship but looking at my s papers and results i think i am headed for NUS or NTU which are quite good too! :)

1. no money
2. not many unis have biomedical sciences.. only as additional majors.. PS. they haf biomedical engineering though! but so different..
3. results?
4. my horrible transcripts
5. predicted grades of probably not 4As
6. no stellar results at competitions eg olympiads etc
7. no money again. :(

was considering wisconsin-madison cos it seems to be not too bad for bio/sciences yet can get in that kind.. plus the profs seem nice because i managed to get my PW materials from one of them!! cornell is also one of my choices.. carnegie-mellon is famous for business not sciences.. chicago is more for engineering i think.. MIT is definitely engineering.. northwestern too.. upenn's not too bad too but seems hard to get in! i really do not know what i want.. forensics? medicine? pharmacy? biomedical? tcm? languages [mum probably kill me!]?

crap maybe i should just go to germany n benefit from the almost free education there. haha. thats after i splurge 4000 bucks [omg!] on the intensive course in dresden or mannheim.. $_$ that is how i probably will look after i come back..

Girl Next Door

Girl Next Door


Small town homecoming queen
She's the star in this scene
There's no way to deny she's lovely
Perfect skin, perfect hair
Perfumed hearts everywhere
Tell myself that inside she's ugly
Maybe I'm just jealous
I can't help but hate her
Secretly I wonder if my boyfriend wants to date her

She is the prom queen I'm in the marching band
She is a cheerleader I'm sitting in the stands
She gets the top bunk I'm sleeping on the floor
She's Miss America and I'm just the girl next door

Senior class president
She must be heaven sent
She was never the last one standing
A backseat debutaunt
Everything that you want
Never to harsh or too demanding
Maybe I'll admit it
I'm a little bitter
Everybody loves her but I just wanna hit her

She is the prom queen I'm in the marching band
She is a cheerleader I'm sitting in the stands
She gets the top bunk I'm sleeping on the floor
She's Miss America and I'm just the girl next door
Oh and I'm just the girl next door

I don't know why I'm feeling sorry for myself
I spend all my time wishing that I was someone else

She is the prom queen I'm in the marching band
She is a cheerleader I'm sitting in the stands
I get a little bit, she gets a little more
She's Miss America and... she's Miss America
I'm just the girl next door...

guess tts how i feel at times.. hmm but i like being that girl next door. :)

b3 for gp! screwed up compre though.. everyone did..

essay: 34+1 [moderation]
compre : 23+2 [ouch]

ouch my legs hurt! din noe 5 items can be so xiong la.. :S

my maths is gg at a crazy rate.. finished DE 15.3 when the lecture juz ended today.. doing normal approx tut when we've barely started the lecture on approx.. and i think we're gonna run outta things to do soon at the rate my tcher is gg.. oh well tts normal actually.. she finished one tut in one day when we take days to do one.. :(

chem only at TM.. still got biochem n NMR 2 to do.. die la..

physics still got analogue, fluids, data analysis (?), charged particles etc

bio lectures not finished yet.. only at control of human growth.. still haf sexual repro n control in plants.. haiz.. so tts like 3 more tuts to go..

then it will be revision full steam ahead!!!!!

omg i think the A levels are really scary. dont u think so? i mean like juz 2 yrs ago we were mugging away for Os.. hoping to get into RJ or sth.. and now it would be hoping to get into ivy league or sth.. scholarships etc.. :S still carn imagine next yr will be in uni le.. at most following year.. so fast la.. gosh! suddenly we're leaving the system that we have come to love and hate so much.. no more uniforms [though i will miss them cos im too lazy to decide wad to wear].. no more assembly.. haiz do u miss skool now?????

once u get to uni u wun haf close knit classes anymore.. no more fun. juz more discussions n trying to get yourself noticed.. guess when u go overseas u've gotta compete with others to be outstanding n (in)famous.. it can be so intimidating i guess.. when you've tried your best but somehow u still lag behind others.. ouch.. in a foreign country all alone etc..

oh well tts another worry for another day.. right now it would be to understand analogue n get thru prelims and the As..

btw chem paper one falls on my bdae. ouch. luckily only one paper. unlike Os where i had geog 1 and physics. whoops.

im gonna get gold for my napfa test! :) yippee! now for 2.4 next wk..

woohoo watch pirates liao! oh n please wait till the credits have rolled b4 leaving cos there's a nice surprise behind.. hahaha! though it was really short.. :( but yeah do wait for it!! even though most ppl would haf left by then n all the cleaners would be standing by waiting for u to leave.. hahah!

guess the show was quite alright though the first one made more sense than this.. because the ending was like "huh end liao ar.. wth.. now for part 3.." kind of ending yeah.. deads man chest is rather lame n drama but its funny!! depp is so good..! the effects were good too.. yeah so i guess overall its not bad la.. :) go watch! i missed the first part though.. was late n some ppl took our seats so had to wait for them to go back b4 we could sit down..

first time out since a long time ago.. prob nanny mcphee? haha! or my girl n i.. depending on which came out first.. went to mph and then hmv to look at books n cds.. i realised i dl a lot of songs la.. i was like looking at the range and i went "oh i dl liao.. i haf this too! and this! and that!" then all the movies and dramas im like "oh watched on youtube.. got pirated vcd etc" whoops.. im soo supportive of original cds siaz.. oh i do buy them hor! juz that sometimes i buy liao then kena scolded.. :( or like in one cd i only want one song so no point buying the whole cd i gues..

saw zhihui sherilyn n angeline! haha too bad i couldnt stop to talk to them.. :(

i am going to become a mugger.. even more mugger than wad im alr.. arghh though i dun think i would really keep to that.. i juz hope i can be more focused n jiayou for prelims!! dun wanna let the teachers down n even worse get like D for physics after my A.. :S tt would be horrible! so i muz muz muz keep up my physics.. work a little harder for maths.. cheong like siao for chem and study smarter for bio.. as for the s papers.. haiz.. do wad i can only lor.. :(

new day. new beginning. thanx so much to all those who sent those msgs etc.. :) love you all! <3

ABCE physics maths bio chem. 71 68 61 49.5.

ouch.

love the first one though. :)

Rants

my wonderful day has just been ruined.

guess i wasnt really upset by my E for chem since my class did the worst in the cohort when refering to failures etc.. 7 Os and 1 F.. outta a class of 23.. tts like 1/3.. only 2 As which were like 70 n 73 and 1 B.. the rest were Cs Ds Es.. yeahh so i guess i was still above average la.. missed D by like 0.5?! had 49.5.. bah.. oh well.. its ok.. was over standard for the mcq.. only had 8 outta 30.. ouch..


so wad made my day wonderful since its so horrible? well it was physics! like oh-so-hated-but-wanna-try-n-do-well subject.. spent a lot of time on it and i guess it paid off! got myself a wonderful A!!! 71%.. yeah i noe its like borderline but ehh to think i used to be last in class! i even won ami n yf..!! :) tts like impossible la... n i did it.. was soooo happy that i couldnt believe my eyes! can u imagine getting 34/40 for mcq cos u only had 3 mistakes?! when the norm would be like 16/30? even my essay.. 15/20 and 18/20.. omg.. structured wasnt as good cos of some mistakes but it still gave me an A!! from an E student to an A student in 1 yr.. woots! :)

so yeah was so happy tt i told my mum bout it.. was telling her got bad n good news.. so she heard the bad news aka chem n then after she chided me i din feel like telling her bout physics but anw i did half-heartedly.. spoilt 1/3 of my day.. so later on my bro kept teasing me bout my E though i tried to ignore it.. its not like i didnt study.. i DID! n i tried really hard to understand the stupid topics.. ive alr done more than wad i normally do.. i did papers.. made notes.. revised summaries over n over again.. even revising during lunch b4 the paper.. but no.. they gotta harp on the fact that i got an ELEPHANT. finee so wads so bad bout an E when i noe i tried my best?

so later on while on our way to take lunch my bro was like "im gonna tell daddy u got an EEE!!!" tell lor... tts wad i told him.. i tot they would understand.. but no... out came this whole long lecture bout how i spend so much time on the computer.. how i sleep so late at nite.. how i nv seem to care bout things.. they think they noe me.. but they dont.

was doing maths prelim paper yest n kinda fell asleep cos i was tired.. mum came in to paint the toilet door and the only thing she said was "sleep sleep sleep sleep.. all u noe is sleep.." wadeva.. cmon u shud be glad i fell asleep doing prelim paper n not while reading fashion magazines or sth.. at least im trying to do my part to reach my goal! its all these baby steps that are the key to attaining those 4 As.. its so unfair.. my frenz play all day.. their parents dun complain.. i study all day yet they still complain.. wad do u want me to do!!!!!!!!!

ARRGHHHHHHHH......... im exasperated.. i dunno wad to do.. its a wonderful feeling if ppl can share ur happiness but no.. they gotta put u down n of all people.. ur parents n family.. it juz makes me feel ignored.. worthless.. etc.. its like they seem to only care about my brother that i feel like im juz the phantom of the house at times.. the one tt no one bothers about.. the one who coops herself up in her room all day.. the one who gets scolded everytime she talks.. the one who rathers tok on msn than to talk to her parents.. the one who doesnt like to stay at home.. the one who gives so much trouble.. the one who throws ur face juz cos she aspires to go to med skool.. am i such a horrible person?!?!? can someone tell me???

how would u feel if when u want to tell someone something that is of a certain value to you n that person listens halfheartedly? its like ive gotta tolerate their discussion on badminton tt can last throughout dinner till they reach home n it doesnt even concern me.. so i juz stare outta the window hoping that i can juz get into my room n be my true self.. so yeah back to telling them stuff.. once in a while there would be a break in tt discussion so i would be like "oh ya.. today ar..etc" after like 30s my mum would juz say "eh di ar.. wad did hamid [the coach] ask u to do today?" i'll be like in the middle of something then i juz give up n retreat into my little world.. trying to ignore them..

finee. be that way. and i'll be on my way. dont u worry.

theres juz so much more deep down inside that i juz dunno wad to write.. its all these triggers that throw me into an emo state.. n that i juz wanna be rebellious n prove them wrong.. they say i talk back to them but tts cos they do not noe what i have done.. things that they assume etc.. they said i dont study n that if i wanna fail n get E tts my prob.. lets get the fact straight alrite? if i didnt study can someone please explain wtf in the world i got my A for physics? please use ur own brain n think about it alrite?

why haf i been up these few nites? ok finee soccer but at least i was using the time constructively.. doing my hw.. revising etc.. not dotaing like other or playing games [ok sometimes] but ive been trying to change! i wanna change my sleeping habits but the WC screwed it up for me.. now tt its over i can try n change it.. assholes..

n today grandmother goh gotta irritate me once more... eh dey.. i went up there 3-4 times to look for the fucking sheet of napfa paper ok.. n u said its in tt pile.. so fine i searched.. couldnt find.. u were toking to i told it to peter wee n then u turned around n shoot me say y i nv tell u earlier? cos my mum always said im a scatterbrain so i searched 4 times before asking u.. wad if it was there n i missed it? u would haf said "why u so coo-koo one?" fuck u la.. ur grandmother dua bai ar? so it was ur fault for putting it tgt with the j1 pile.. n u think ppl wanna not do well for napfa test? if u all din frigging change the criteria most ppl would haf passed! so stop ur nonsense bout if u exercise regularly u shud pass.. if u only cycle but not train ur arms do u think u can do pull ups eh?

ok ive vented my frustrations.. my tears [including those during lunch] etc and i think im ready to get down to work liao..

please dont sue me etc if u're offended or sth.. cos its mainly one of those emo rants.. i would juz treat everyone else as they are if u dun step on my toes.. i even tried to forget wad grandmother goh suaned me last term.. yeah cos he didnt seem so mean but today it was too much cos it was in front of everyone.. lucklily peter wee helped me a lil by saying that i told him.. thanxx so much cos it meant so much to me.. at least ppl arent that bad afterall.. yeah..

oh yeah n pardon the expletives.. :)

im so proud of myself! i finished normal dist assignment, DE 15.1 assignment, DE 15.1 tut, radioactivity tut, biochem protein tut, lipid tut.. :) did AJ maths prelims too! but one look at the stats n i thought to myself "gosh still got so much to learn!! all the approximations.. :S" ok i noe brian nguyen, jingyuan, pq etc will start calling me mugger liao.. can almost hear them calling me tt on msn etc..

btw i haf a new nickname given by my physics tcher cos of my hair.. its not funny lor.. its MI SHARAPOVA.. yeah like mi-sha sounds like michelle.. thanx ar.. my hair is not blonde! its only orange..................

some random pics from my phone..

deren in the lib attempting to STUDY electrochem.. not revise...


















photo of the sky in negative mode while waiting for my brother to end his trg at YCK sports hall..



















some hair caterpillar we saw at lower peirce b4 dinner.. :S it was wriggling tts y so blur..



















chickens in some house along the road when walking down LP.. when u exit from the other path instead of the usual one.. yeah.. taken by my bro..

so much to do.. dunno wad to do.. too sian to do.. eyes juz closing on me.. think i shall sleep early today.. been sleeping at about 2.. betta change it asap.. yeah.. now its like sleeping b4 12 is so weird.. normally its after 1.. yeah.. i wonder when i started to do it.. usually would be after 12 before 1.. now its after 1 before 2.. gosh.. kinda fell asleep during bio s.. luckily he wasnt toking about anything impt.. its all juz in the notes tt peishan is gonna help us zap.. yeah.. :) animal biodiversity.. i seriously wonder whether i would do tt qn cos u would hafta noe like the different kingdoms like protoctista etc.. chordata..

got 68 for maths.. same as b4.. juz tt it was upon 80 n not 100.. n yong guan tyco got 86!!! man stupid idiot! haha.. reverse of my marks la.. still say wad hopefully i wun win him cos he wanna haolian.. -_-" S11 ppl smart liao lor.. win liao lor.. win S13 one.. hmph.. tt is like higher than ami too!! so it muz muz muz haf been a fluke! jkjk.. it boils down to effort cos he was busy mugging for maths.. soo if i din study n got 68.. wad if i did? ;) 87? muahahahx! tt would make him hopping mad!!

if only i had juz written down something for that stupid DRV question! i wanted to write wad the eventual answer is but it seemed wrong to me back then so i din.. HAIZ! oh well.. this time our class marks are damn varied.. from 40+ to 80+.. n to think we topped the cohort for the previous CT.. tt includes the F maths students too.. whoops.. guess many of us din study as hard for maths i guess.. haha..

prob got 26 or 27 for bio mcq upon 30.. lets juz hope it wun be too bad..!! everything will be returned next wk lor.. bah.. not too enthu but juz wanna get them back i guess.. haha guess maths didnt turn out too badly afterall cos it was my most unprepared sub.. cheonged nearly everything the day b4..

ok.. shall go do my proteins tut.. sick of DE liao.. still got so many questions n i hate to integ this and that!! gotta find my carbo biochem notes.. dunno where they are.. :S normal dist assignment.. DE 15.3.. lipids.. plus loads to read up on.. :( sleep early n wake up early to study! yeah tts wad im gonna try n do tonight!! :)

JY's 18th

Jingyuan's birthday! PQ's the cameraman.. :)































pics were taken after skool so that explains the erm low turnout.. haha! howan came after we took the one above so tts how he appeared in the 1st pic.. :P

Love?

been watching kim sam soon on youtube.. all these korean dramas really get ppl thinking bout this whole love game..

kim sam soon kinda reminds me of full house.. contract dating etc.. calling the wrong name in front of the girl and the likes of it.. but its so nice!! haha..

was up till 2+ last nite thinking about all these things.. its an unearthly timing but tts when i start getting emo n stuff la.. so yeah im the most vulnerable at nite.. haha! dun provoke me in the evenings or else u'll get it thru out the nite until we part.. think my family suffers the most.. temperamental me.. tantrums etc.. though i juz keep quiet.. refuse to eat anything normal except dessert.. get frustrated at the slightest stuff.. haiz..

maybe stress is getting to me.

back to the love thing.. so was thinking about it and i suddenly came up with this analogy of what ppl look for in love.

imagine u're drowning or at least floating in the deep vast blue ocean and there's nothing around you.. let's juz say floating cos you would be desperate when u're drowning.. so wad do you look for?

1) life float
2) an island

so whats your choice? life float or the island?

If you chose 1: you like to be adventurous, but you arent seeking to settle down.. u float around with it until a better one comes along.. or maybe even a lousier one to up the stakes.. you hang on to different guys and change them relatively frequently.. you're looking for fling material more than a life long partner..

If you chose 2: you wanna settle down with the one of your dreams and set up your own family aka colonise the island.. it has to be one that gives you a sense of security and the resources are there to support you.. if things go well, the island would prosper n develop.. if it doesnt.. well at most juz swim back into the ocean again.. looking for another island or juz a temporary life float..

man i think these are rather good analogies to me la.. :) okok if you've like seen or heard this b4 somewhere else i swear i havent! so yeah its original at least in my opinion!! so if you wanna quote this.. cite sources k?? IP rights..!!