last day as a 17th yr old. will i feel older overnight? maybe just a little. haha.

how has this one yr been?

full of its ups and downs. emotional turmoil. confusing thoughts. achieving my dreams. maybe just being who i always am.

was reading thru my archives earlier today.. not all just randomly clicked on some. now i noe what a blog is for. its for sharing ur happy days as well as ur moody ones.. record of ur life.. somewhere for you to share moments with close ones.

i realised how much ive grown throughout these two years.. the things i've gone through [yes including you you and you and maybe you] the time ive spent infront of this computer and the tears ive shed.. the emptiness i felt at times and how actually its actually very lonely to be in front of the computer.

wara nv understands how i can spend hrs in front of the com. she finds it boring. maybe it is. same site. same people. same blog. same arguments. same everything. maybe i feel safer behind a computer.. something i can hide behind when things go wrong. its the wall i build around me when i feel threatened [im so sorry for wad ive done to you in the past]

maybe the arrival of the 18th yr of my lonely existence will be more fruitful and more meaningful. i think the 13-14th yrs were rather superficial. but i will always enjoy the 15-16th yr in art club. those were the times i felt i could be myself. crying over deadlines.. singing oldies with pam.. laughing at mr mah and ms tong.. having our little picnic and escapades into the safety of the art room. it was like our own world. i miss those days where we would just wonder into the art room in the midst of lessons and talk to miss tong. how was is she? prob given birth by now rite? hehe :)

its been one hell of a rollercoaster ride. this ride is coming to an end. its time we changed to another ride and hopefully we make the right choice this time. hopefully we get enough credit to choose the rides we want and enjoy the ride of our life. this ride in vj has been good and i will miss everything bout it. the teachers, friends, the building too.