HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!


so its the 1st day of the new year 2007 and im up at 12.20 feeling a little indifferent to the new year. i wonder wad has changed over this year. apart from a few new friends made.. i guess its pretty much the same old horrible me.

argh i hate myself sometimes.

and i hate being lonely.

especially when you need someone to whine to.

its not like i dont like the solitude [its ok when im feeling reflective aka moody] but sometimes after a horrible day you just wished someone would show some concern. it sounds so blardy [crap tt word reminds me to serene] childish and naive but who wouldnt want to feel cared for? :)

wads done's done. cant change history so i guess i've just gotta change the future. i've grown more tolerant at times though when people dont get me the first time round or after numerous repeats i start getting frustrated cos its not tt i dont get my point across but rather the info doesnt get processed!! for example.. the korean bbq meat is called bulgogi.. pronouced as its spelt.. but my parents keep calling it BOOLONGGI! like ARGHH after umpteen times it doesnt get in i get really frustrated.. then they tell me "im old liao.." like how legitimate is that reason?! im old too! im 18 years OLD! BAH!

sometimes i go online n i see the ppl there.. i wonder how many do i talk to actually? now that many of the guys are enlisting.. that number is gonna fall.. gosh i think im gonna miss nash! i've told him tt! hahaha apart from random ppl who pop in once in a while at random times like philip n mark.. n some stc girl we met at LP.. i carn rmb her name for nuts and she just asks me random things like why am i at home n not counting down.. 0.o lazy la..

alrite so i've got dsta interview on 11th jan.. BTT on 3rd and driving on 7th.. i hope i pass my BTT and can get thru dsta! actually i dunno if i want a scholarship.. its like if i go to UK.. i think i wanna come back n do my MBBS at Duke-NUS.. so if got scholarship it'll be like 6 yrs later cos of bond.. arghh see how la.. see if i can get in in the first place.. :(

might consider aussie for med.. peter if u read this plz buzz me cos my mum wants to noe how much u're paying.. haha scully i become ur jnr again.. hahah!