life's full of surprises. even unexpected ones. things that will throw you off your balance. life's too fragile. for all you know, you might die/be killed the next moment. life's dangerous. why am i emoing here?

answer: my uni prof just died unexpectedly. link

some of you might wonder "so what?" but it is a great deal when it is something unexpected. plus it sounded like murder. but even the police doesn't know how he died. i bet he must have said the darnest things with his famous 'sexy' voice. damn it means that i wouldnt be able to count the number of 'actually' that he says! apparently he used to pepper his sentences with it to the extent that people started counting! wanted to do it next sem but i guess there's no more.

he was extremely friendly and entertaining at times. the first time i met him was during commencement dinner and he was the chaplain. he ended dinner with grace and said "may god protect and watch over us as we prepare for rest..." which was ironic considering it was a saturday night and its obvious that most of them weren't going to rest so we all couldnt help but giggle. he was the sort of lecturer who would be really sarcastic and animated as he tried to make ethics really interesting.

despite all his physical disabilities and illnesses, he tried to come to class, even if he had to sit in a wheelchair and not use his walking stick. he picked on students and 'terrorised' them with negative examples. his jokes were filled with sexual innuendos which were hilarious. but i loved the one he did about disabilities and resource allocation. he was trying to pretend to be a disabled baby so he went "waaa.. waa.. waa.. DOWN SYNDROME! waa.. waa.." as compared to "waa.. waa.. National Swimmer! waa.. waa.. waaa..." cant really remember wad he said for the second part but it was hilarious!!

but now he's gone.

just one/two weeks before exams, he came by to jane to help someone with their work so he sat at our table for dinner. j3ss told him that i am one of his students and he started to ask me whether i had studied for t2-5. and obviously i hadnt. unfortunately. but he asked me how do patients express their autonomy and luckily i knew it was through informed consent. then he asked how do you achieve that. so its like telling them what they will be undergoing, covers the procedure, the surgeon etc. christin@'s answer was classic. "ask them?!" hahah and he was like "yes thats's essentially wad you have to do...." HAHAH he gave us tips on the exams and stuff like that but throughout dinner he was really engaging and fun!

but yes he's now gone.

who's going to teach us next semester now? i still remember writing on his SETL that he should revise his slides cos they seems a little outdated. >< like the cases didnt match wad we were doing that week. he was supposed to try and get people in the middle of the LT to participate cos he asked if i sat at the back and i was like no i sit in the middle. its weird isnt it. how life plays such horrid tricks on you.

he was still telling us about how his daughter played truant in school and they had to go down and look for her after the police found her somewhere. he also told us how he has experienced breakthrough pain due to his illnesses. he tells us about his wife and stuff like that. you see him as a person and not a lecturer. someone with real problems and a life. not someone you see once a week for a lecture.

was just sitting at the same table with him on international night too. he was still asking me all about food in singapore and stuff like that. the best part was during the quiz. it was funny how micha3l, his wife and my prof were trying to answer the qns so diligently. the interaction we had among us is probably something you'll never find in singapore. there were no barriers to communication and it really felt like home.

the funniest thing that i can rmb would be an1ta telling him that p@trick went to an adult shop! HAHA that was cos she didnt know that he was the chaplain! damn funny la! my prof was like "p@trick.. i didnt know..." with the smirk on his face. :P p@trick is a postgrad student who was the previous dean of l@w at a msian uni. but it was out of curiosity and not that he needed anything. :)) but yeah we joked about it and laughed it all off.

how would you want people to remember you when you pass away? do you regret not saying anything? he asked me how i found his lessons and i just laughed. its weird. how would you feel if you knew that those lessons were going to be the last that you ever had? how would you feel if you knew that that was going to be your last meal, words, call, email, blog post, car ride, person you see, thoughts?

its scary isnt it? the uncertainty of death. yet its as certain as the sun rising from the east. maybe its better for him to die. i hope he died peacefully. i hope he's up in heaven enjoying a painless eternal life. may you rest in peace sir.