dammit im really really sick..

been coughing for the past 2 weeks plus a sorethroat prob from the non-stop coughing and fever.. arghh..

thanx to all who helped me to relief my classes!!! got mc for today too so xi-anwen is helping me to take over the entire day.. thank god che-wml is back today so that xi-anwen can take my entire day..

and cos im sick it means i cannot go to st james with the others!! bleahhhh how cool izzit tt the maths teachers are gg clubbing..! hahaha oh well hopefully they will go again soon and by then i am well! :) muahahahax..

so now im stuck with the secthree pts plans to assess.. i dont like pt.. hmph its so confusing..

anw i better be better by monday if not i cannot go bring the art club ppl out..! and then shun bian bring home all the SAs to mark.. kabish..

my holidays are goneee.. btw did i mention tt i feel harrassed by the NE-A ppl? i mean i know i still haven submitted my form by calling me up everyday doesnt make me feel up faster in my state! horrid.

yay yay yay!

AAAA B3 Merit

whee~!!

so its wednesday!!

carn wait for friday.. a bit the impatient liao la.. :P though i think the minutes b4 getting my results would be heart stopping.. haha.. back to the o level results day again i guess.. :S

tmr's a slack day.. invigilating 3 SAs.. 2 maths 1 history for chri-stl.. then only teach twosix.. yeahh so i can finally try to preserve my voice.. so thurs will be over really really quickly..!

mrs b-an sat in today.. i think she finally realises how many questions they ask.. hahah! yeah its really beyond ur imagination.. the qns are like non-stop n from the start to the end.. even dragged until their form teacher came in for CLE!!! felt a bit bad to take up his time but the class was like "nvm nvm its cle!!" -.- haha how wonderful.

n i just confirmed with my students tt lpl has like a legion of girls with a crush on him! muahahahx!! tts quite amusing in my opinion.. :P but yalar he's quite nice i guess..

shall go watch my angels of mission now!

its sunday!! im feeling a little sick though.. ouch.. prob from the lack of sleep.. :S how ironic.. im supposed to sleep in on weekends but the thing is that i stay up lattteee.. so no difference..

frenz coming over later.. yay mahjong! :) wanna play DDR since i've not played in the longest time liao.. since A levels? probably.. hahaha..

was chatting with enos yest.. hey cheer up k? n get well soon!! life should start looking up for you so dont give up!

oh ya just wanna say tt amway's dishwashing n multipurpose cleaner rocks big time!! ok random.

anw i better go pack my room so that at least later when they come over wun be so messy!! muahahahax..

so its the weekend again!

i feel like im falling sick.. :S must be the staying up till 2.30 yest reading deception pt.. haha trying to finish it asap so tt my bro can return it to skool..

gg to eat yusheng later at my granny's place.. means its mahjong time! i think.. :)

its 2 weeks to the march hols.. too bad i've got the Y_EE workshop on 14-15.. means i carn go overseas! besides i'll have to mark the SAs.. bleah.. i wanna go overseas!! and tt reminds me.. i haven submitted the Y_EE applicaton form yet.. told them i'll do it by this week and its alr saturday!!! nvm.. i'll try to submit it asap..

i still haven typed the N-UH report yet too! and its due next fri.. cos its 2 weeks after the attachment.. nonono.. so much to do! heellppp...

argh work tmr again.. :( haven gone to work in a week! haha i think i prefer studying to teaching.. like really la.. dun need to feel too responsible.. after all it wld only affect me.. not the others.. bleah..

just came back from relatives place.. met up with cousins and cousins cousins.. so yeah dan_ial was there so chatted a little.. was super bored.. falling asleep while watching "spirit" with my cousins.. couldnt tahan liao so i went to play com.. haha was actually looking for dan-ial to chat with but it didnt occur to me that he's in the room where they were watching spirit..

so stoned arnd a little more b4 we left for home..

haven marked a single thing i brought home.. really tired now.. hopefully i recover from this mild hangover by tmr.. bit stoned liao.. hahahha! all thanx to mrs ch-oo's husband!

im feeling a little depressed over a very stupid thing. i shall try my best to keep this thing under control because its so stupid. arghh self discipline!

anw i might have gotten into UCL.. :) but i've no money to go! no scholarship, no UCL.. so thats the cruel reality.. makes me happy for like a few days until 1) As results cannot make the conditional grade 2) no scholarship 3) no one to lend me money

hosp attachment at N_UH starts tmr.. wish me luck! i hope i wun be bored to death this time around as compared to the one at mt E.. yeahh but NU_H is good! i hope dr ji_mmy so is a nice man!

vday tmr.. hahah rmb mr chu_a and his outbreak last yr! damn bad mood la..muahahax vj's cool.. and i think i'll be spending my evening at my neighbour's house with the team.. how interesting.. hmm hahaha yeah how nice..

reunion at my granny's on thursday.. wanna play with jonathan..!! my granny says that he always play halfway then "jie jie...?" then starts looking for me! he's one smart kid! my aunt only told him to call me jie jie ONCE and he's like 2 yrs old? or arnd there.. then he can rmb! like omg omg omg! sooo cute! was playing with the mahjong tiles with him.. :) cute jonathan!

ok i shall continue playing with connect 2. omg im addicited!

well its a saturday and i've just changed my bedsheet, washed my aircon filter and my toilet.. hmm thats quite productive? :S haha i shall vacuum and mop my floor tmr! yay i like my room clean.. ok who doesnt.. but then i dun really have the time to clean my room regularly so when i get really irritated with it i will clean it all up! :) so today's still not too bad.. can slowly do.. hehe and im gonna paint my room someday! prob light pink.. ok its alr light pink but the colours not bright anymore.. its not my fault that i cant change the colour of my wall because i've got built in furniture! so im stuck with purple/pink unless i get rid of the tables, cupboards and bed.. total overhaul!

loads of marking to do come monday.. when everyone will hand up their assignments and FA.. yeah i shant talk too much about school.. pam and ruth says i say things to explicitly.. so i shall be discreet about some stuff while explicit for the other unimportant stuff..

i really think i say too much on my blog.. its quite scary i think.. ouch ok pls tell me if you think that something is unsuitable so that i can take it off? hahah i tend to go on and on about stuff as you all can prob alr tell.. bleah..

and im gonna learn indonesian!! hehe with my mum i think.. muahahax cannot imagine!

tagged by eunice! :)

Layer ONE: On the Outside

Name: Michelle Nah
Birth date: 17/11/88
Current status: employed
Eye colour: black
Hair colour: brown [dyed]
Righty or lefty: righty lefty
Zodiac sign: Dragon

Layer TWO: On the Inside

Your heritage: Chinese
Your fears: losing the people i love
Your weaknesses: heck care dont care sometimes, even about things that i love
Your perfect pizza: the handmade one by the one

Layer THREE: Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

Your thoughts first waking up: shit what to wear to work
Your bedtime: anytime between 11-12
Your most missed memory: my granddaddy and his hairy hands and him trying to steal my hp

Layer FOUR: Your Pick

Pepsi or Coke: erm doesnt make a diff to me.. seldom drink it anw.. but if i do i want salt too! :)
Macdonalds or Burger King: BK
Single or group dates: errr grp then single? depends on how i feel towards that guy?
Adidas or Nike: eh whichever is cheaper
Lipton tea or Nestea: dunno
Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla with choco chips!
Cappucino or coffee: can i choose frap?

Layer FIVE: Do you..

Smoke: NO.
Curse: yes when im angry or when it slips my mouth
Gone to the mall: -.- im not a mountain tortoise
Been on stage: yar. umpteen times but those were the days.. wonder where i mustered the courage from!
Eaten sushi: mhmm
Dyed your hair: totally

Layer SIX: Have You Ever

Played a stripping game: wtf? see i just cursed.
Changed who you were to fit in: erm i dont think so? maybe tts why i didnt really fit into rg? haha!

Layer SEVEN: Age

You're hoping to be married: erm before 30? hahaha what a dream.

Layer EIGHT: In a Girl/Guy

Best eye colour: green.. i think thats exotic! only if it fits your features.. please dont wear green contacts for my sake! that would be horribly disgusting.
Best hair colour: streaky blonde.. hahaha same as above.. dont highlight/bleach hor! thats fake!

Layer NINE: What Were You Doing?

1 minute ago: this lor
1hour ago: eating my dinner
1.5 hours ago: sleeping in the car
1 month ago: working at HR
1 year ago: wasting my time away feeling lost and lonely

Layer TEN: Finish the Sentence

I love: my friends!
I feel: energetically tired. minds buzzing but bodys oozing
I hate: fakes [people i mean. not bags and stuff] and people who try to act cool..
I hide: my imperfections [loads i tell you]
I miss: you you and you all

Layer ELEVEN:Tag 5 people anyone who's bored.
ruth pam jeremy koln peter

alrite so everyone is getting all attached and lovey dovey.. :P hehe you know im talking bout you! oh yes i have yet to congratulate you! :)

i shall just wait for the rite one to come along and in the meantime i shall just enjoy the high life of being happy, single and extremely financially independent.. hahaha! ok that last point is a little wrong considering i still get my parents to pay for my stuff whenever possible!

let's see.. its really weird when i hear my students talking about their senior's bf's being in acsi blah blah cos it seems really childish? hahaha but back then who would have bothered so much rite? :P i mean it was like "soo cool!" to have a bf or wadeva rubbish that meant. haha and it still sounds silly to have a bf now but i guess its something unavoidable? :S guys are scary sometimes.. i dunno.. but normally they're alrite i guess.. hahaha and to those of you who are thinking of my supposed one.. please la.. i haven really spoken to him since the start of As.. hahaha! ok a little while after As but then after that not really liao.. :P so yes im 'officially' unattached.. 0.o that sounds weird cos i was nv officially attached anw! its all you ppl who keep saying stuff.. kabish! hahaha we were just frenz.. ok maybe something more than friends but then along came As and we stopped contacting.. haha seriously if it wasnt for As/overseas studies/army we might have gotten tgt.. it was that close to it.. but yupz.. nth more now.. kinda weird huh?

alrite i better start my marking.. gotta start stats tmr.. oh gosh good luck to me.. like i didnt have a hard time with stats myself just a few months ago! :S

rite im feeling horrible now.

believe it or not i kinda hate buying clothes. damn cny is coming and i gotta buy clothes. but at least im done with clothes to last me for the first day.

it sucks to buy clothes when u're not in the mood to. its like being forced to do something you do not like and the point is that everything you see wouldnt seem nice to you cos you simply arent in the mood to shop. rite?

went to eat arnold's while shopping which i think caused my gastric cos im too full once again.. argh dont remind me of what i ate yesterday please. it was awful. haha not the food but the amount and i wonder why didnt i get gastric.. ok i think i was on the verge of it and if we continued walking down to kiliney i think i would have.. thank god we stopped at orange julius so at least that gave my stomach some time to digest the immense amount of food dumped into it.. i still carn believe i ate beef noodles when i was almost full alr! gosh i really regretted buying it since it was so-so only.. bleah..

so back to today.. obviously i didnt eat dinner cos i would have died on the spot if i did.. just laid in bed sleeping and wondering why in the world isnt the gastric pain going away.. so in the end even after the medicine it didnt improve so i had to take drastic measures.. dont ask me what i did but wadeva i did it kinda improved it..

so when i woke up again at like 9+ i watched the food show on ch 8 only to rmb that the PSS finals was on!! so was switching btwn the channels.. then i realised that its quite obvious that daren would win so i just watched my food show till it ended and continued with PSS after that.. hahah cao ge was guest singer then when i saw him i got reminded of the incident on "yu le bai fen bai" where they were trying to play matchmaker for him! hahaha!

so yeah here i am feeling slightly depressed over nothing. guess its the pre-monday blues.. hah what rubbish. argh i hate explaining the horrible qn 3 of modulus!!!! god help me.. barely got threefive to understand then now i gotta explain to threethree kabish good luck to me.. at least tmr my first lesson is with twosix so it'll make my day first! :) algebraic tiles here i come!

i still haven reviewed the sec 3 SA and neither have i gone for my chicken pox vacc cos NUH needs me to have it.. damn why did i test -ve got VZV IgG blah blah blah hahah then i wouldnt need the jab!

mopeing?

mopping?

moping!

extremely random now. sleep is crucial i guess.

dream cos it will make your wish come true.

so here i shall wish for ________!! :)

its friday!! omg i got through one week of teaching.. loads more to come.. hahaha teaching is soooo tiring! more tiring than HR but i guess im not complaining as yet.. just that its quite hard to get them to understand modulus i guess.. especially the part about why you solve for the intercepts based on the actual separate eqns of the graphs. yeahh argh dammit.

and i love twosix cos they are a really nice and funky! but i just hope they wont take advantage cos im being nice to them. tink i might need to put my foot down if they go too far so i hope they wont blame me for it. playing with algebraic tiles next week so i better understand how it works in the first place. haha basically its about area lor then the sides would be the factors liddat.

for sec 3s i can slow down a little n make sure they understand mod totally cos its gonna be quite difficult if they dont understand.. i've just been passed the SA to look through.. wait till i see and then i'll know if they'll make it.. still have one assignment and one FA for them to do.. slowly la.. these classes need some time i guess.. so remedial is on the way.. more work for me but i guess if they improve tts the greateset satisfaction i can get from being a teacher..

gotta vet through the SA, mark the assignments and look for extra questions for the weaker ones.. lots to do but so little time.. most of my time is like trying to catch up on lost sleep cos i wake up at like 5+.. arghhh haven woken up during that unearthly hour for like 2 yrs!!

going for MFA tea session tmr.. so sian until i dun even feel like gg but then ok la need to get a life too.. haha no driving tmr but will prob try to book one on sunday.. bleah see where got time to do other things.. argh..

and yay my business is growing!! :) hopefully can get my first paycheck by next month since i've got some orders from my relatives liao.. hehehe so cool!

chatting with monic now.. :) miss that girl and her nonsense! glad she's back so we can meet up again.. whee~! so's ami but ami's gonna be on attachment so not tt convenient i guess..

oh ya another thing.. i managed to get the NUH hospital attachment! so now i just need to pop down to vj to get my letter, the polyclinic to get my chicken pox vacc.. fill up the form n mail the entire thing to NUH! 14 feb to 16 feb.. means i'll miss 3 days of school as well as loads of lessons but i think xian wen would be taking over my lessons for these 3 days la.. so shouldnt be too bad.. haha i really hope she can do something about that.. wait wait when is the PT issued!?!? nvm i shall worry when i get the PT.. haha

someone please remind me to get the correct number of students for my classes next wk! zzz

yay my TP has been booked for 10 july!! :)

i want to grab someone else's!!

now i really need to go bathe n sleep! first day of RT! omg freaky.. hahaha!

yay passed my FTT!!

argh y isnt the traffic police dept linked to ssdc?! then i can book my TP le! checked today.. earliest date is alr like 9 july la!

wth

so yeah they better update by mon so i can quickly grab n book.. dun want it to be too far from 9 july.. zzz so long la..

saw daniel at ssdcl today.. haha realised he's actually quite nice.. :) how often do you get to know your cousin's cousin? muahahax.. was like checking out my car no. when i suddenly looked back down n saw him! was quite shocked cos i forgot he usually learns at that time.. yupyupz!

so we started talking while waiting to go to the cars. talked quite a lot i guess.. just like normal friends would! hehe my car was 99 while his was 105 then was too far away to continue talking.. if he was 104 then can talk le but 105 was the next row.. anw so after the 1st lesson we ended at bout the same time so we walked back to the tv again.. haha this time his was 8 while mine was 11.. after gg to the toilet [and him waiting for me again..] we sat down n continued talking.. decided to walk there then realised cannot find no. 8! i was like "eh where's yours?" haha apparently no. 8 broke down! so he took 93.. hahah

started driving then kept seeing him around the circiut.. once he was behind me and started tailing me! wahlau made me super stressed la.. tried to go faster but this car's accelerator not as sensitive as 99.. oh well after lesson he said he purposely one.. XD still wanted to overtake sia..! damn i should haf slowed down.. HAHAH! hog the lane! ;)

anw i kept gg out n back into the circuit so i was like one of the last cars to return.. wah he's damn nice la.. was waiting for me at the other side cos was raining like siao.. so asked him who's he gg back.. in the end parents gave him a lift to his dad's kopitiam since we were also going that way.. slight detour only.. hehe so in the car mum started asking him questions bout his driving etc.. esp his TP.. hehe too bad he had to tell her when he's taking it.. he din even tell his parents! so my uncle wouldnt know as well.. haha so i guess i was the closest thing to family he told before he told my parents.. all the best!!! :)

so as i said i went to my granny's house.. played with my little cousin jonathan! omg he's damn smart! he turned 2 last oct n he can recognise nos!! and he's so cute and he says 15 as "fiffeen" followed by that toothy grin! *aww* he can also recognise 11,12 etc..

funniest thing was when we showed him "三" he stared for a moment n said "ereven!" *aww once again!* hehe must be wondering how come this eleven got extra line!!

so yeah got home late n im super sleepy cos the time i spend driving every weekend can get me to malacca i think! except the speed la of cos.. :P so time to go to lalaland now.. [why do i call it lalaland?!] *gacckks*

lol.

gacckks.

-.-

HIAK!

yay! im halfway through my driving lessons le! subject 15/30! :)

anw i've got a meeting tmr bout founder's day i think.. if i am really gonna do event management.. haha tts another portfolio for me but the pay's the same.. zzz but i guess i should feel honoured that mrs shirley tan chose me for the job.. :) guess i know who to look for recommendations should i need one.. hehe..

oh yes did anyone receive some invitation to join this People to People Leadership Seminar in the US? apparently they found me through collegeboard [though i think my SAT results were quite shitty so wonder if anyone else got it] cost like US$2000+ la.. damn i think GYLC seems more interesting! i wanna go for GYLC but cannot le.. missed it in j1 then j2 too bz.. BLEAH! i need sponsorship!! hahaha dunno if can go for it oso cos im not in Grade 9-12 at the time of seminar.. :( so sad..

i think my life is getting super boring. nothing to talk about so there's nothing much to blog about. the things i do at work at confidential so nth will appear here aka no juicy news about teachers etc. HAH! and pam u still havent told me wads so funny about wad DP said during the 1st day of school! :) diana's on leave tmr and i've loads to do so i suppose i wun be sian.. haha

seriously i wonder why in the world am i telling everyone that my life is boring? hahaha its not supposed to be like this! what happened to all my pre-planned post As stuff? ok apart from driving i think all of it is like 'forget it' driving on weekends take up so much of my time and by the time i get home im super tired.. then its back to work again.. at least i get the see ppl that are impt to me at work! times i spend with you ppl are the best! how we go crazy tgt, talk nonsense tgt, been there done tt tgt.. anw back to the fact that i've a boring life. i still haven watched the goodbye lenin cd mrs leow lent me.. argh i shud msg her n tell her i'll return it asap!
ok this post has absolutely no direction and im just ranting about wadeva comes to mind. right my brother got a new 3G phone.. SE k618 or sth liddat.. couldnt be bothered with the model since its not my phone anw.. haha im like that.. :P oh n i think i seriously think that vj's food is like much much nicer than rgs food! i miss vj! 1) more stalls at vj 2) more variety [bataya rice!] 3) tables are cleaner 4) food is overall cheaper n yummier! VJC WAN SUI! hahahahaha

im staring at my msn list and i dunno who to talk to. acquintances/longlost friends/jnrs/snrs/classmates/batchmates im feeling like a loner now. haha maybe my outgoing personality is for the day while im like a phantom at nite. someone no one notices and just goes about my activities. i quite like it this way. no responsibility and no need to be accountable. its like liberation from all the facades of the day. muahahahax but maybe im just too tired to initiate a fluffy convo anw.

yay just went for my fourth practical! :) at subject 8 now.. muz cheong le.. cos waiting for PT is like 3-5 mths unless u manage to grab someone else's slot when they try-sell..

n its damn cool to drive on the road! ok fine i got horned once cos i wasnt watching my steering and nv check blindspot and always not in the centre of the road but i'll do these when im used to everything! at least i check mirrors n BS when im changing lane or overtaking.. muahahax... just not when im turning into another road.. :S

ok quite sian now.. must start studying for my FT le.. gonna change my date to one that is sooner so that i can quickly go book my PT when im done.. :)

super tired after cheonging 2 lessons today.. had my second yesterday and two today.. so i drove from like 8.35 till 12.15? :) more fun than arcarde but more dangerous. and im quite glad i din take manual cos my leg hurts from only braking in the circuit cos the junctions are so close to each other.. imagine having to handle the clutch! OMG..

madness.

so i shall just wait for the next email that would decide my fate.

and shud i apply for king's college as well? i mean so far apart from camb i've only applied for imperial. :S if not im just gonna stick arnd at NUS or NTU.. or maybe go to aussie to do med..

anw im feeling better and kinda getting over the fact tt i didnt get into puny trinity hall. ok not tt trinhall is not good but its just small with a success rate of NatSci applications of 20/58 in 2005. and i suppose tt includes biological n physical.. haha actually if i get in i think i just want any college close to my cousin so i can bug him n hopefully make him less anti-social.. though i think tts almost impossible.. he's in caius.. not really enjoying it cos he hates ComSci..

oh rite maybe i shudnt blog bout how my cousin finds cambridge quite :S in terms of lab n classrooms etc.. at least we've whiteboards here..

all i can say is that shona is damn lucky to get into trinhall med last yr! so is jasmine and manu.. see! rgs girls are like sooo good! hahah but not me i guess.. haha if i carn even get NatSci how can i even get med! but no moolah too so its NUS or aussie i guess..

Melbourne or Monash? or maybe postgrad?

oh rite i forgot to say.. i think ms hoo's back at MOE and i might haf emailed her stuff today with regards to things at RGS.. haha tts quite cool.. how many ppl have the name hoo yiin hwa? :) just that her email is not the hoo_yiin_hwa that she used to mail us last yr but yiin_hwa_hoo.. hmm maybe it changed?

alrites super tired again.. as usual wads new.. work is fun when i've things to do n the aircon is not cold enough to freeze the balls of the brass monkey.. and before you think dirty.. it apparently isnt according to my dad! go check out wth is a brass monkey.. ;)

was on the train this morn reading the free "my paper" and there was this article bout taxi drivers providing extra service.. not directly.. but being the middle person so that tourists etc can enjoy extra service.. n these taxi drivers can earn like 10-30k a month!! tts like whoaaa.. they've got the contacts and wad not so everything's like super easy for them.. take ur pick.. vietnam chicks, russian girls, models? cheap, ex, bomb! all the horny tourists.. with the japanese being the most generous with their money..

ok this post is extremely random cos my brain is not working properly.. shall go do some mundane work like playing spider solitaire for a while b4 i go to lalaland!

haiz so my cambridge application got pooled. well tt means its still under consideration by other colleges and the chances of getting in is about 25%. just like the normal one lor..

actually like not bad liao la.. outta 14000+ applications.. 3000 will be offered while about 2800 will be pooled.. so erm im in the top 6000 applications.. ARGH! wadeva.

shall just wait for another heart attack to come along. :(



oh rite does it make me feel better that i've passed my BTT and can now apply for my PDL on sat? i was really happy until i checked my email at bout11+..

nash is saying im crazy to be so worked up over the pooling..

After the interview there are three possible outcomes:

1. You are made an offer: Applicants who have already gained the qualifications required for entry may be made an unconditional offer, while those applicants who are still studying for qualifications for entry are usually made an offer conditional on achieving certain grades in these qualifications.
   
   
2. Your application is ‘pooled’: It may be that your College, although impressed by your application, doesn’t have a place for you, or may wish to look at applicants to other Colleges before confirming its last offers. In such cases your application is ‘pooled’. The winter pool, held in January, is designed to ensure that the best applicants are offered places whichever College they applied to. All Colleges can come to consider pooled applicants. Directors of Studies in each subject have met during the interview period to discuss the overall standard of applications, so that they can see by January how their own College's applicants compare.
   
   If your application is pooled, you may be asked to attend a further interview at another College or you may be offered a place without a further interview. If you are asked to come to another interview it will be held in early January. There is some flexibility over the timing of these interviews to allow for AS/A level module assessments also held at this time. Around one in six applicants are pooled, and of these, around one in five receives an offer of a place. If your application is pooled, but no College is able to offer you a place, you will hear from the College you applied to, normally by the end of January.
   
   For more information read our Undergraduate Guide to the Winter Pool.
   
   
3. Your application is unsuccessful: On average Cambridge receives around four applications for every place, so inevitably many applicants, even with good grade predictions, will be unsuccessful. Disappointing though this is, we hope you’ll have found it a useful experience. All Colleges provide, on request, feedback on unsuccessful applicants to the author of the school/college reference (the referee) or the Head or Principal of the school/college, provided that the applicant has given permission under the Data Protection Act. See feedback on admissions decisions for details.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!


so its the 1st day of the new year 2007 and im up at 12.20 feeling a little indifferent to the new year. i wonder wad has changed over this year. apart from a few new friends made.. i guess its pretty much the same old horrible me.

argh i hate myself sometimes.

and i hate being lonely.

especially when you need someone to whine to.

its not like i dont like the solitude [its ok when im feeling reflective aka moody] but sometimes after a horrible day you just wished someone would show some concern. it sounds so blardy [crap tt word reminds me to serene] childish and naive but who wouldnt want to feel cared for? :)

wads done's done. cant change history so i guess i've just gotta change the future. i've grown more tolerant at times though when people dont get me the first time round or after numerous repeats i start getting frustrated cos its not tt i dont get my point across but rather the info doesnt get processed!! for example.. the korean bbq meat is called bulgogi.. pronouced as its spelt.. but my parents keep calling it BOOLONGGI! like ARGHH after umpteen times it doesnt get in i get really frustrated.. then they tell me "im old liao.." like how legitimate is that reason?! im old too! im 18 years OLD! BAH!

sometimes i go online n i see the ppl there.. i wonder how many do i talk to actually? now that many of the guys are enlisting.. that number is gonna fall.. gosh i think im gonna miss nash! i've told him tt! hahaha apart from random ppl who pop in once in a while at random times like philip n mark.. n some stc girl we met at LP.. i carn rmb her name for nuts and she just asks me random things like why am i at home n not counting down.. 0.o lazy la..

alrite so i've got dsta interview on 11th jan.. BTT on 3rd and driving on 7th.. i hope i pass my BTT and can get thru dsta! actually i dunno if i want a scholarship.. its like if i go to UK.. i think i wanna come back n do my MBBS at Duke-NUS.. so if got scholarship it'll be like 6 yrs later cos of bond.. arghh see how la.. see if i can get in in the first place.. :(

might consider aussie for med.. peter if u read this plz buzz me cos my mum wants to noe how much u're paying.. haha scully i become ur jnr again.. hahah!