i just realised how frivolous my posts are. but sometimes it's just that my life is so boring that there's nothing much to it except medicine. i wish this year was a little more interesting. unfortunately, that doesn't seem to be the case.

this post is going to be really random. you have been forewarned.

everyone's bogged down with work and sometimes it just gets to you. you become so sick and tired of it all, you just want to give up but you know that it's not possible because at the end of it, you're still going to have to complete it nonetheless.

i want to decorate my room more. i want to make it cosier. i want to change the look of it. somehow, it seems to lack something. something a little more personal. everywhere i turn, i see books. reminders of my student life. but nothing much that reminds me of who i am or the people around me. it's a stressful room to be in actually. you feel compelled to study all the time. being right in the corner also means that you dont get many visitors (which is good). unfortunately, some inconsiderate neighbour speaks with a loud squeaky voice and talks loudly at the weirdest hours of the night.

i need to pack my room too. maybe even rearrange it. i need change and i love change. change keeps things fresh and makes me feel like i need to adapt again. being too comfortable makes me complacent. maybe i'll consider moving my stuff around during easter. or maybe not. i'm too lazy.

i guess i've become a little more anti-social this year. simply because it isn't as fun anymore. meals aren't crazy, noisy and loud. people are a little more emotional this year. things have changed a lot. no wonder someone commented that despite all her years in college, you don't have a sense a belonging because people come and go. one day, you wouldn't even remember who they are.

i always wondered what it will be like to be friends with everyone in college. to be the one that gets invites to all the parties and actually attends them. would life be more interesting then? i guess it would but at the expense of?

i think i need to get a life. a life outside jane. a life outside med. thankfully, there's the soka group now so i don't have to hang out with the same people almost 24/7. not that i don't like them. it's good to have a separate group of friends to hang out with. =)

been more homesick this year than last year. maybe it's a good thing in a way. i just miss being around familiar friends. unpretentious friends whom i can be myself when i'm with them. i'm trying my best to be myself this time around. to be who i truly am. if i'm going to offend someone, so be it. i'm not going to bother being little miss nice anymore. besides, it probably says a lot about you if you can make me not like you in the first place.

i'm not saying that i'm perfect. i'm just saying that i've been much more tolerant than i have ever been. if i cannot stand you, i will stay far away from you till i have 'recovered' from my phase. and then it will be back to normal because by then, i would have accepted that that's just being you and all's fine by then.

i try not to hate the person but if i have something against, its against the action. inconsideration, arrogance, hypocrisy etc are some traits that i cannot stand.

having said that, i shall stop my rant now. no names are being mentioned here. although for those who know me, you probably know which part of the story you fit in. =)

or even better, those who have heard the rants in real life, probably can guess the other characters in here too!