next few weeks are gonna be insane.. so filled with activities.. ><>jane dinner
27 sept: jane photo
28 sept: elvin3's birthday treat
1 oct: t1 mcq sa
3 oct: stats assignment due
4 oct: jenny's birthday party
8 oct: t1 mcq fa + t2-5 saq fa
10 oct: reflective piece + presentation + portfolio
13 oct: KFP report
16 oct: OSCE sa
18 oct: start of swotvac
25 oct: start of exams!

this is crap sia.. plus today was kama1's birthday dinner too but couldnt go because there's that test next week that i need to study for.. yupyup! didnt go for maybell3's birthday lunch thing too.. there's so much happening la.. must concentrate and study!! ><

i wish you would just tell me why you're not happy.

you're not doing anything and i don't know a thing.

how do you think that makes me feel?

i feel torn apart.

its week 10 of 13 school weeks.. wow time really flies man!

4 weeks to swot vac.. 5 weeks to exams.. 7 weeks till i get home..

being home makes me feel surreal. its makes me feel all dreamy and stuff. after being away from home for so long, you finally go back and feel like nothing has changed. that was how i felt when i went back in june. i questioned whether the past 4 months really happened. i felt that the 4 mths could have just been erased and it wouldnt have made much of a difference at all. maybe its because you dont really hang out or contact the people you have lived with for the past 4 mths.. its as if they never existed.

but these are the people who means a lot to me too. weird isnt it?

next yr's gonna be different. people are moving out, graduating etc. what sense of belonging? dian3's right. there is not sense of belonging. your bestest friend may move out/graduate before you. you make new friends and the cycle repeats itself. people who just come into your life and leave even before you know it. they're just the supporting actors in the play. easily forgotten and barely remembered.

its amazing what living together with other people can do. you see all sorts of weird things. stupid arguments. you see people in a different light after a while. *shrugs* you cant stop people from thinking what they think. but you can control what you do and how you perceive the issues at hand. i think thats the way to go. the people who care dont bother and the people who bother dont care. so the most important thing is to be happy. :) smile and the whole world would smile with you.

omg just realised its 6 weeks to exams!! *freaks out*

this semester has gone by really quickly. even i am amazed at the speed its gone by with. in a flash, singapore night, rural week, jane ball etc are all over! jane weekend's coming up soon with jane play this fri and sat.. there's so much to do yet there's so little time. i really need to concentrate and get down to studying hard. :) cannot fail man.. haha! though a lot of people would be like "HUH U FAIL?! YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!"

sometimes that stresses me. but i guess as long as i dont fail, having more of a life would prob make me much happier and not just spending every single day with my books and nothing else. its hard when people around you have 12-13h weeks (which can be shortened by ponning) while you have like 20+h weeks with barely any break with the same number of assignments as them. sometimes you really wonder if its all worth it, but i guess it will be in 4.5years time. not that i will have much of a life by then.. ><

life's so full of surprises and i'm glad certain things happen. i'm glad to have someone who keeps me sane most of the time. i'm grateful for the support and friends i have around me. when the going gets tough and you wonder if you'll make it out alive, these are the people who reassure me and tell me that its gonna be worth it at the end of the day. all the shit that we have to tahan etc just clouds the bigger picture.

the moons really bright today. kinda fell asleep just staring at the moon just now. luckily managed to wake up and drag myself to bathe and now im back at the com/notes. :) badminton tmr again! yay! at least there will be more people this time around.. more fun! hopefully dear mr tee will be able to wake up and come along too! though he's got soccer training at 1.30 later.. :(

watched sex and the city and harold and kumar escape from guantanamo bay over the weekend.. :) nice shows i guess.. haha! h&k was super retarded la.. like seriously.. >< but it was good to laugh all the stress of life away.. hehe!

prob going for KFP later on. was supposed to go earlier but the mum couldnt make it so now we're mtg her at 3.30.. zzz which means by the time i get back to hobart its gonna be like 5+.. omg i dont wanna walk back myself la.. prob ask 3lvine for a lift! haha! he's prob at jane so yay! hehe.. seriously its during these horrible attachments that i wish i had a car.. it was rather inconvenient to go to derwent park.. plus there's cancer council next wed but thats nearby so its alright.. new norfolk is just too blardy far away la.. kabish.. dont like it man.. oh well.. >< and its prob gonna get busier.. *shrugs*

presentation and dissection this week again.. not looking forward to tmr and fri.. longgg days ahead! we're gonna cut open the vertebrae! yay! see the meninges, spinal cord.. whee~! out comes the saw man! saw thru all the laminae and stuff.. wahahaha! dissections really cool.. until u have to clean up all the stupid things that body uses to hold things in place.. pfft. hahah!

gotta start researching for my presentation too.. and prepare for osce fa tmr.. thank god its only fa but i guess i still have to study.. surface anatomy and start learning to talk to myself! :S

ok lunch time! hopefully get some work done before leaving for school again cos we're prob mtg there and then going out to KFP. sometimes i really wonder why do we have to do this.. its quite waste time la.. oh well.

today's the last day of hols.. :( sad man.. this week has just gone by like that.. horrible la.. wish it was longer.. this means that there are 6 more weeks of school.. 1 week of swot vac.. 2 weeks of exam.. then its home! and the end of yr 1.. super fast.. its already september..

havent done much this week really.. apart from doing up the notes from last week and my assignment.. maybe i should start on another assignment.. then at least i wont feel so slack? hahaha.. but its the last day of hols and to spend it on work is like HUHHH.. sian.. :P

oh and gossip girl season 2 ep 1 is up on the network! YAY! shall go find it and watch.. hehe.. thats if i can get onto the network.. ><

i'm feeling quite crabby right now. I COULD HAVE GONE TO LAUNCESTON!! why they early early nv tell me got space! then i wouldnt have gone down to town and then to collect the tents.. :(

so much for being nice. :( doesnt pay does it? pfft. now im really angry. not really angry la. just disappointed and like in a whatever-la state.. its like if i were in my room i would be on my way to launceston now.. *sob* i'm trying to comfort myself with my books. the love of my life. yupyup. tmr will be a better day! yes it will be! launceston.. i can always go some other time.. :) right? yes.. i shall use this undisturbed day to finish up my notes and assignment! make full use of this.. then i can enjoy the rest of my holidays.. :) its already wednesday.. spring's such a wonderful season.. not too cold yet not too hot.. sun's shining right now! looking out of the window just makes me so happy.. :) should go do laundry too.. i'll make this MY day. yup! spend some time with myself.. just relaxing and maybe watching some dramas.. hehe.. see how..

but for now. i'm still feeling crabby. need some cheering up. :( maybe some mycoplasm and chlamydia would cheer me up. followed by a dose of back anatomy and innervation of lower limb. then maybe some duchenne muscular dystrophy would do me some good. yeah i think it will.. someone just make my day now please! :(

its spring! weather's great right now.. sunny.. not that cold.. love it man!

its the hols right now too.. :) more play, less work.. as compared to all work no play.. guess thats the difference when it comes to hols.. hahah! there're still notes to read, assignments to do.. things to worry about like OSCE FA and presentation.. i've got some GP Ass1st thing this sat so i've gotta go down somewhere else to sit there for 2h.. basically its an after-hrs service (cos docs dont work 24/7 here) where people will call and the nurse will assess and tell them wad to do.. if they dunno wad to do, they will pass it on to the docs who will help.. yeah.. cool rite! only because its so unlike singapore.. hahaha..

i want to watch wall.E! not sure when it opens here though.. but its so expensive to watch movies here.. its like 11.50! pfft.. see how la.. maybe i'll just wait for someone to upload onto the network.. HAHA! that will save me money.. :D

now back to my membrane potential/action potential notes.. :))

going to bruny island for retreat! :)) will be back on sunday.. yay its gonna be fun! can't wait to go.. will be leaving soon.. hehe.. so exciting! not sure if we're gonna pick oysters though.. unlimited supply from the beach! hahah! tabasco.. lemon.. mhmm.. :P

its good to study overseas i guess. there's so much more to do here! this entire yr has been amazing.. i've done more things than i would have ever done in singapore.. experienced more emotions than ever before.. its been simply awesome man!

going out to oatlands tmr for rural placement! its gonna be interesting.. just talking to patients and knowing more about the rural place. but considering i would rather use the time to study instead of talking to patients.. i can say its a waste of time.. ><

but i'll just treat it as a break. i think i've been stretched a bit too thin these few weeks with everything's that has been going on.. so yes, it'll be great to just take a break and let me rest my brain, soul, body for a while.. :))

things have been interesting i guess. a bit too interesting though. hahaha full of its drama.. no wonder its hard to stay together and for nothing to happen at all..

its sunday! tmr's the start of rural week! erm 'yay'... haha! im sure it will be fun but sometimes i feel like its a waste of time.

workload this sem is insane. everyone's just dying. hopefully we will catch up by midsem break aka study break. pfft. sad sia. its not like i will fail or wad but its just so much to study!

it snowed!!!

omgomgomg!!

we were having dinner when elvin3 shouted "its snowing!!" then the entire asian table practically disappeared and ran outside! :))

but it only lasted like 3min.. but omg it snowed!! now my hair is wet. hahahah was so cold la.. fun though! hehehe..

Singapore Night was such a wonderful night that i think it probably is the best one SS5 has ever had!! the atmosphere was at such a high that people were actually volunteering themselves and were proactive in participating in the games! :) it was sooo fun man! it was worth all the hard work that we have put in for the past few months.. it was simply AWESOME!

headed down to wr3st point at 10am for preparation. we had our dry runs and rehearsals till about 2+ and we went back to the room to rest. the room was quite nice actually. one queen sized and one single bed. only thing was probably the lighting because it was still quite dark despite us turning all the lights on.. started to get ready at about 5.. which was too late (whats normal) and we had to rush through everything. despite it all, i would say that we all looked fabulous! interestingly, most of my friends couldn't recognise me! grr. maybe because i don't normally dress up that when i do, people realise that i can ACTUALLY look good? HAHAHAH!!!

we were talking about me feeling very hot when we were sleeping (my skin was like 'burning') then va5aant was like "yeah man, you looked hot last night.." HAHA! thanks dude! but yeah it was funny to see all their reactions. the normally tomboy michelle dressing up must have made a few jaws drop. :P

anw the night went well and we stayed up watching spongebob for a while before i really couldnt take it anymore and kinda KO-ed on the bed. this was when jes5 and s1nhui came back from iso and chased the card playing people off the queen sized bed cos i fell asleep on the single bed with chri5 still watching spongebob but about to KO like anytime soon too.

eventually we went to sleep and checked out at 11.. :) went back to jane and slept for a while before lunch and you could tell that all of us were like damn 'seh' la.. haha! but it was good fun i guess.. :))

now that it's sunday night and there's school tmr, i really need to get down to work and finish up some stuff. thankfully i made myself stay awake in the afternoon and finished my integrated practical so that's one thing out of the way! thats the thing that takes the most amount of time to prepare! grr.

ok its 7.12pm. shall do work till about 9.30/10 then sleep and recuperate! tata!

i survived! now for one more day. SINGAPORE NITE! :))

its gonna be a loonnngg day tmr man... gotta be there by 10am to start the preparation. hope everything goes well..

presentation today was great. i think we were prob the most entertaining, if not the second most entertaining presentation. but its because of j3remy who was soo willing to help us even though he wasnt presenting. thanx mate!

so yes, thankfully my laptop is able to blast music since the mic/sound system was down so we could still have our wonderful intro. hehe.

gonna take a short break. want to study but my brain is just sooo drained..

from today onwards till sat, i'll be super bz that i prob will collapse from exhaustion.

tmr will be the longest day of my life man. school starts at 8 and ends at 5+ then i've got SS5 mtg at 8 till Xpm. plus i've gotta prepare my speech for my presentation. thankfully mine's the not so difficult parts of the presentation. like its actually things that i kind of already know. :)

but still i need to practice and familiarise myself with the content. oh man..

why must i have dissection this week.. grr.. life's already so busy.. pfft. i'll survive! jiayou!

my presentation idea is really good (imo) but not sure if the group will agree when we meet tmr. i really do hope they like it! better than the vague idea-less thing we have now. kabish. asians/international students really are different i suppose.

week 4 is about to begin!

ready, get set, CHIONG AR!

so yes. its finally friday again. haha!

just finished my KFP discussion board post, T1 MCQ FA and my integrated practical. feel rather relieved already. so that just leaves me with the revision of my lectures to go!

1. autoimmune and tolerance
2. gram -ve bacteria
3. histology of blood vessels
4. osteoarthritis
5. muscle contraction
6. anatomy of hip, popliteal fossa and leg

cool! already finished histo of cardiac and smooth plus coagulation so thats two down. i love being on the ball man. though sometimes it sucks so badly because things dont go the way they are supposed to go. like im not sure how im going to survive next week man. like all because of sgnit3 next sat that i have many mtgs this coming wk. there's one on sun, prob tues and maybe thurs and fri.. which is like :S but thank god after sgnit3 its probably nothing liao. :) but then... i have like dissection next wk plus presentation which is like insane! so i really have to make full use of my time this weekend and try to cover as much as i can.. cannot afford to be behind! since sat will be GONE and sunday i'll probably be too tired to actually study.. damn.. suddenly i feel like i really need to study because i just realised that i've got FAs the week after again! luckily they are FAs and are probably online so it doesnt really matter that much. if they are SAs i think i'll just kill myself man. of course not literally but just 'DIE' from all the stress first.

feel like sleeping but now i suddenly feel like i should study my tolerance and autoimmune.. spurt of inspiration from nowhere! maybe from the stress im creating for myself. ><

just realised i got highest for both the mcq/emq and the saq sections of the paper.. hahaha

went for cbl today then they were talking about the breakdown. then cas3y was like "there's like someone with like 127+/150!" and chlo3 was "thats like really good!" and i went like "yeah thats me."

jaws dropped.

HAHAHA. it was quite funny. they started congratulating me but i told them i must have done quite badly for the others to get an overall of 78 but they were like "78's still very good!!" hahah but you know, i'm suddenly rather satisfied with my 78 now that i know the 'truth'. :)

one more lecture to go today! then its SSS mtg and probably gym session.. hehe.. and then its back to the books.. anatomy is such a pain! thank goodness i dont have to know the EXACT origin and insertion of the muscles and stuff.. i think i will DIE if i have to. seriously ruth, how do you actually rmb all those stuff?!?!